The verbal grenade I was tossed yesterday morning hit me with full force. I tried to counter with ninja mindfulness techniques.
“Good morning,” I said, stepping closer to the person, trying to start again.
Instead of resetting, this further escalated the situation.
I retreated, bursting into tears a few feet away.
“You cried?” My friend asked in astonishment.
“I cried,” I admitted.
“What was so bad about it?”
I went on to explain the particulars of the scene, the tone, the aggression, the surprise.
And yes, I realized stress was wearing at me. The late nights and early mornings chipping away at my defenses.
I also saw myself as others see me.
“She told me you cried and I said, she doesn’t take any crap. She doesn’t break easily,” another person told me.
Being vulnerable takes as much strength as having a tough exterior. When life disappoints us, rather than getting angry, as was my go-to strategy in the past, I am open to sadness in the hope that what goes down, will eventually come back up.