Bad Parent, Good Lesson

india men temple
Indian men intemple (Photo credit: FriskoDude)

It’s Father’s Day, one of what I call “Hallmark holidays”, or when the card, candy, and floral merchants rub their hands together in anticipation of the commerce to come. Or used to. Does anyone besides my aunt in India send cards anymore? In the case of fathers, perhaps it’s the razor and tie manufacturers.

And in the world of social media, changing one’s profile photo seems to suffice for any number of family friendly holidays.

Whether Facebook, Twitter, or the blogosphere, there are effusive, superlative compliments about the men in people’s lives from childhood who were paragons of virtue.

Maybe there are men out there that are that good. I didn’t have one in my life as a child or teenager.

What I realize in retrospect is that sometimes having a void in your life makes you stronger. You don’t have that shepherding influence so you develop your self-leadership much earlier. Of course, I spent my 20s wishing this weren’t so, that I had it easier as my friends in suburbia had.

Now in my 30s it’s worth it to know I married a man who will be a different sort of presence in the lives of my boys. And somehow, that’s enough.

Did you have a strong male role model in your life? Or are you being that light to someone now? Shine on.


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