My single friends look at me with longing; they think as a mother of two, husband in residence, that my greatest life questions are resolved.
“Gal-pal” is such a casual label for these women whose worth is above gold. We have conversations I can only dream of with my friends who are also mothers. Unfettered by constraints of feeding, nap, or bedtime schedules, we can meet whenever work or sleep allows.
They sigh and bemoan their lonely futures; I urge them to pursue their passions rather than a man. They contest my advice as invalid, offered from the safety of the ivory tower of matrimony.
“Pour that urge to nurture into a new hobby!” I cheer.
“Easy for you to say,” she grumbles. “You’re settled.”
“I’m going through the same struggles as you,” I protest. “In different ways.”
My dear friend would like to meet her life partner and have a baby. Yet, hours of conversations show that her thirst for intimacy is no different from mine — for female in friendships; I’d love to have more friends who were reliable and didn’t cancel at the last minute or move away after three years.
Often the heartbreak of ending a romantic relationship can feel like it will drag you under.
But again, from my parallel universe, in the week leading up to that most commercial of holidays, second perhaps only to Christmas, Valentine’s, I am reminded that many people can hurt us, not only our intimate partners.
People disappoint us. Often treat us other than we deserve.
But as with boyfriends or husbands, once I recovered from the shock, I steeled my resolve: if they think they can do better – then they should try.
After all, as I’m reminding myself, so can I.
Moral of the story? Don’t put up with sh#t from anyone. Not a lover or a friend or an employer.
After all, you’re worth more than they think — though they’ll never know unless you show them. How you let other people treat you says more than the words you use. This Valentine’s Day, remember: true love, begins at home.
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