BOOKS, WRITING, LIFE
When I was an undergrad student, my two mentors, History and English professors, would share their technology worries with me. Setting up voicemail, turning off ring tones, turning on battery indicators: I was their one stop, techstop.
I found their helplessness endearing and silly. Until I started teaching undergraduates.
“Can you help me transfer contacts from my Blackberry?” Turns out what goes around does come around.
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They say that expat life involves two buckets: a sh*t bucket and a money bucket. When the first one outweighs the other, it’s time to move on. This adage may be why people are shocked when they discover my husband and I have lived in Qatar for seven years. The average stay of a white collar expat in Doha is three years. By this measure we have been here two and a half expat cycles.
What’s our secret? We have another bucket. One for laughing. When our son acts like a demon possessed child at the park, running up and shoving children away what he wants to play with (an action that would have him and us ostracized at any American playground) we reprimand and shake our heads. When the guy in front of us slams on his brakes so he can pop the curb to make up a parking space, we follow suit and pull up next to him. When my single, childless students, still living at home with their parents complain about how busy they are, I point to my protruding belly, ripe with pregnancy number two, and we share a giggle.
Laughter may not change the facts of an aggressive toddler, bad driving, or self indulgence. But a good cackle does make it easier to let go of negativity. The more I laugh, the less I feel personally affronted by whatever obstacle is in my way.
Though he has a temper like the Incredible Hulk (and the introverted non-Hulk personality to match) my husband can laugh at himself after he’s had a chance to cool off. The reason I married him is because he would show me, in off beat moments, how my actions, words, or phrases, sounded to him. Through imitation, he made me laugh.
I even joined a standup comedy troupe to share the stories of our multi-ethnic family’s adventures in a racially defined society. After a few years with the group, I made a short documentary about the intersection of humor and culture called Laughing with an Accent.
Have a laugh. Or two or more. You need them to get through life, expat or otherwise.
*This post is part of a month long challenge to post everyday. Learn more from host Terri Giuliano Long.
When I was a graduate teaching assistant, I had a small speech I would give before Valentine’s Day. “A day when men hate women for being materialistic and women hate men for being unoriginal.”
“Bitter,” a blonde undergrad muttered underneath her breath from the front row. “I’m not,” I insisted. “I resent the pressure to spend money by florists, stationery makers, and chocolatiers.”
I went to a women’s college (which now admits men, the subject of my first novel, Saving Peace). Valentine’s Day was more like a week. Special long tables were brought into the foyer to handle all the flowers, teddy bears, and gifts, people were sending to students on campus. The pressure to avoid this part of a small campus was so great, the “Peanut” program sprang up. You gave your peanut a small treat everyday and on the final day, at the end of the week, revealed your secret identity.
Yes, that’s how fragile women are around Valentine’s Day.
I’m pleased this year to say that my short story “Food” is including in the collection Love is in the Air: Seasonal Short Stories. Proceeds from this collection of 13 stories by 13 authors will go towards the Diabetes UK charity.
The best way to celebrate love is to show kindness, not only to those who love, but those who need it. Check out the excerpts from a few of the stories below and consider giving this unique title as a gift to a friend or true love.
EXCERPT from Michael J Holley’s story:
Standing at the top of the narrow, contemporary staircase provided Emily with her first view of it down below.
It looked as though it was highlighted in Technicolor compared with the doormat and Habitat umbrella stand that was stood next to it. The crimson shade of red offended her senses at this time of the morning and her heart sank. What kind of a moron has played a joke on her this time, she thought to herself as she carefully padded down the open slatted stairs?
EXCERPT from Sonia Wright’s story:
Throughout tea the conversation was polite but uncomfortable. Adam’s father tried to make the occasion light hearted by adding the odd joke. Mother on the other hand showed her instant dislike for Ramona by making snide remarks about the way she dressed. Ramona saw a future battle looming on the horizon with this lady, but it will keep until Adam had become her husband.
Excerpt from “Careless Cupid” by Vanessa Wester:
Celina watched her assignment. She had obviously picked the short straw on this one. Seriously, this one had no chance of luring any female attention – none at all. She could see potential. Yet, the way he stared at the floor all the time, the shabby loosely fitting and badly tailored grey suit, and that hair… the hair was wrong on so many levels.
Excerpt from James Smith’s story:
I laugh along with Neil, although I don’t find anything Max has just said remotely amusing. Over the next ten minutes, different men join the group, but the words used in their greetings are frighteningly similar, it appears that these men are deeply unhappy with their lives. “Still at least we have team building,” states Neil.
