Everything Comes Back to Nationality

Lives saved by seat belts and airbags
Lives saved by seat belts and airbags (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Recently my husband became a certified diver. This meant Friday morning trips with his friends to the waters off the north coast of Qatar. This past weekend he wanted me and our two year old to come along and enjoy the beach while the gang was under the water. I managed to convince a friend to join us – even though we left at 6:30 a.m. – and we did have a great time.

What struck both of us as we were setting up, however, were the spots of white tissue and blue bottle caps scattered over the sand. “Why can’t people take their trash with them?” I asked.

She was as dismayed as I was in taking in the 100 meters or more of beautiful sand, pocked with the remnants of breakfast, lunch, and dinner barbeques.

“We’ll enjoy the morning and then do some pick up,” I suggested.

“That’s karmic yoga,” she said. “Let’s do it.”

The two year old played, with a bevy of aunties, the title Asians use for older women, whether they are related or not, at the ready to make him the sand sculptures of his dreams. Airplanes, crocodiles, and birthday cakes were his structures of choice.

3 bags of trash collected in 15 minutes
3 bags of trash collected in 15 minutes

We had lunch and then got two trash bags each. One to collect trash and one to use as a glove. Everything from stale flat bread, to leftover shrimp pizza, went into one of our three bags. Within fifteen minutes we had collected plastic bottles, tissues, bags, discarded children’s shoes, and scraps of paper. Being social media hounds, we posted our findings on Facebook and Twitter. The comments we received on the photos were telling.

“What a great idea,” someone commented. “We do cleanups here in my home state. Wonder if that would work there. Of course it would be Expats to the rescue.”

“I explained to my son about Muslim absolution,” someone else wrote. “And he asked why they litter so much if they’re supposed to be clean.”

I’m not denying that many a time in traffic I’ve been behind someone who has tossed trash out their window. Or that I got into a face off during the recent Sports Day, with a girl and two teenagers (who were likely her cousins or brothers) for tossing a finished soda can onto the green space in the park. These people were all Arabs of some kind. But I could see that they were in my interactions with them. I didn’t assume they were.

The innocuousness of picking up of trash revealed that our friends thought that most of the people who litter in Qatar are Arabs. Maybe they are. Maybe they aren’t. I do know of the twenty or so diving groups I saw that morning, only one of them seemed to be of Arab origin. In the four hours we were there, the majority of the people on the beach there were expats.

Switch to another big cause for me these days: children without seat belts, riding in the front seat or standing up in the backseats of cars. I started taking photos of these darlings last week at red lights. Again some of the comments revealed that everyone thinks this practice is done by Arabs. Even though the first photo was of an Asian looking child in the arms of his mother, showing me his toys through the open passenger side window, the association people had was that Arabs are the primary violator.

What struck me about both these instances is that assumptions about behavior based on nationality seems to come to the forefront immediately. Nationality and “why doesn’t the government do something” are knee jerk reactions to what we would otherwise consider civic responsibilities. Maybe it’s a system that pays people based on their passports – not their merit – that is to blame for the root of this ethnic divide. For the same job, it’s completely legal for companies to pay different wages to Egyptians versus Sri Lankans versus Americans. Is this where the root of mistrust begins?

I’ve been inspired by these instances to not wait for the civil authorities to decide to address the issue. After all their attempts to encourage recycling and better driving have not proved entirely successful. Rather than continuously looking to others, I’m interested in the power of individuals. Why can’t every person who sees trash on the beach pick some up? Not every piece, but whatever they have time for?

And every parent who sees someone riding without a seat belt, encourage them to use one?

In a place like Qatar, where mistrust abounds between groups, expat and national, Arabs and non-Arabs, it would be nice if we as expats could do something positive to give back to these communities which are our temporary homes.

Instead of always complaining about not being invited into Qatari homes, or never experiencing Qatari hospitality, could we pick up trash, regardless of who left it? Could we talk about the importance of child car seats? After all, we assume a certain cultural superiority when we say that littering is wrong, knowing we come from countries where this behavior is fined.  Ditto for children in car seats or seat belts.

Maybe we wouldn’t be ‘better’ people or more civilized if we didn’t have our home governments governing our civic actions.

What would we do if we didn’t have to? Who are we when laws aren’t enforced? These are the questions echoing in my head.

Next week, I’m taking this question on to another, more controversial question: the treatment of housemaids which also seems to vary according to nationality. Stay tuned.

 

 

Enhanced by Zemanta

I'm Not a Grinch But I'm Not Giving This Year

Christmas gifts.
Christmas gifts. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’ve always loved giving gifts. There’s a small closest in our house dedicated to gifts from trips around the world year round.

In the mad dash to get ready to travel home, between writing a technical document, finishing one manuscript, launching another book and producing a book trailer,  I went through the house pulling out everything but clothes that needed to go.

Downstairs I threw open a door and found forgotten items from South Africa, Turkey, and Greece tucked away into bags no one had ever seen. I sat back on my heels. I bought most of the ornaments, wine stoppers and tiny vases in 2011. Here they sat, waiting for me to remember then. The pile was an unavoidable fact.

Something happened to my joy of gift giving. Maybe it started the year we arrived on December 22 to find the malls full of people so angry that they couldn’t even smile when I clucked in sympathy for their long hours.

Perhaps another part of it was the fact modern holiday revelry means if you’re not stressed out, grumpy about family gatherings, and in general put out by the demands of parties, travel, or giving during the most wonderful time of year, then you work for Hallmark. Living overseas make it easier to drown out the 24/7 retailer demands on television and radio to show how much you really love your loved ones.

I’m the kind of person who puts up the Christmas tree while the Thanksgiving turkey is roasting.

Call me type A, call me crazy. But I wanted to take my holiday back. To bounce out of bed and be excited by the day ahead — the food, the fun, the family. Where can I find it?

This year we agreed: no gifts will be exchanged between adults. Amazing what a simple decree like that does for your spirits (and checkbook). In most cases they can get what they need for themselves. Let’s be honest. And those that don’t? They are easier to find without the background din.

That’s right, not even from or for my husband. Gifts only for the children (which in our family we have five and if you throw cousins into the mix, still fewer than ten people).

Ever since I was a teenager and could earn money, I’ve felt the pressure of the material undertones to the holidays. There was one particular friend whose family showered them with so many gifts, I knew my budget item could never

English: A bauble on a Christmas tree.
English: A bauble on a Christmas tree. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

compete. So I did the next best thing: I took the money I would have spent on him and sponsored a few gifts for a child in need. My friend got an ornament with a date that he could hang on the tree forever.

Soon the trend caught on and that was the only gift we exchanged. Over ten years later my tree is now covered with ornaments of our decision to forgo for each other and pass-it-on.

Now as an adult, I buck the trend to be wearied by the expectation to find the perfect gift for loved ones. Instead of piling on the presents for our toddler, I step aside and let grandparents, aunts, and uncles have the pleasure.

Maybe it’s too late for this year (or maybe not, thinking of soup kitchens, food banks, and other programs) but next year think of what can help put the joy back into your holidays instead of steam under your hood at the already overcrowded mall.

What are your secrets for holding on to your holiday cheer? Or have you surrendered to Scrooge?

Related articles

Enhanced by Zemanta

Give the Oldest Form of Technology This Season

You’re running around like a maniac because you have a long list and only one day to get all the shopping in. I have the solution for you and you don’t even have to pay me for the advice. Give the gift that is as old as humanity itself: share a story.

We have shiny tablets that need recharging and maybe the monks would scandalized to see what Gutenberg started has denigrated to the pulp paperback, but we haven’t improved on the technology of an oral tale being written down. So take a break from the holiday madness and give a book. That’s right, reading is dead only if we stop doing it.

Whether it’s leather bound special edition, paperback or even Kindle (yes you can gift those as well), share a story you think someone will love. Books come in all sizes, shapes, and languages.

For the White Elephant party, consider something like Christmas Letters by Simon Hoggart. A collection of the braggiest, depressing and down right odd letters people send to their friends and family this time of year. Once it’s unwrapped, people will be passing it around and laughing out loud.

Or for that teen who can’t get away from X-box, try a bestseller that will be a film soon, like the next installment of The Hunger Games. Who doesn’t like to be in the know? He or she can whisper meaningfully in the next seat You may want to close your eyes for this (and impress).

Even the two year olds and under can benefit from a book. Don’t believe me?

Check out this video of our guy and his favorite reads. Yes, we get bored reading the same few titles over and over but with repetition means that he can now read some of them to himself.

And if you decide to give an indie title, all the better!

 

What’s the best give you’ve ever received? Mine was a set of leather bound journals my brother-in-law gave me one year. I could fill up the pages with plans for my next book.

I rarely buy hardcovers but I will ask for them at Christmas or for birthdays when my favorite authors have a new release. This year, I feel Alice Munroe on the list…

Enhanced by Zemanta