how to manage money or your rage. These are two important life skills that aren’t really transmitted in books or traditional learning. We absorb attitudes towards money and anger management from our surroundings. Parents, friends, other adults. Constantly our young minds are watching them, cataloging what is permissible and what is unlikely to get results.

Anger management courses have been featured by Hollywood: Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson use comedy to show the utter extremes of provocation. Even Robert De Niro or Tony Soprano resort to therapy to deal with their out of control emotions which affect their standing as mafia dons. Make no mistake, talking to a therapist would help with any brain rewiring.

My moments of self reflection as they relate to anger only come after major blow outs. The last major one on record was in 1996. If you have one of these, they are volcanic eruptions which teach you your lesson. Never let the id take over and run the mouth. That’s what the brain is for. Even if you have to bite your tongue in half, some things are worth leaving unsaid.

I’m learning the best way to avoid anger, to stop it from building into rage, is to breathe. Taking deep cleansing breaths is the way stop the churning tide and to gain some perspective.

Try it. And tell me how it goes.